Ramon wants everything in his head to come into existence in the world. He comes to us with a background in the apparel business, having previously worked with brands such as Lioness, Quarantine Fun-Time Shoppe, and Relentlessly You. He is responsible for many of the designs you see on our website. He also occasionally writes blog content.

Ramon is a crypto bro who wants to retire by 40 so he can be a full time shitposter. Buy a Clout Engine product to help him realize that dream!

There's this really awful place called Baltimore. Diamonds are forged under pressure and mascots are forged from the absurdity of the American wasteland. Eventually, he grew sick of that and fucked off to Brazil where he currently enjoys the beach and making music with his friends. When his album blows up next year, we will be able to say we knew him before he was famous.

Pretty tony is a man with many talents. He helps us out by wearing our shirts while he does art and poetry and clubs and stuff. He's also an English teacher. He can fix any car with some duct tape. We've seen him do it. He's an expert martial artist with a background in Jeet Kune Do and traditional archery. With years of adventure under his belt, he is a travel vlogger with a growing following on Instagram.

His greatest contribution to our team was assisting with the design of the Don't California My products. He has his own signature one-of-a-king shirt called Geronimo! It's his and his only. You can't find it on our store at this time.

Don't make gay jokes around him, he'll probably get pissed off.

John loves novelty merch. What better way to acquire novelty merch than to get friendly with novelty merchants and test/model their products? Here he is wearing a different company's merch.

When he isn't networking and modeling, John is a DoorDash guy. He gets paid in a single spoonful of gruel at the drive thru and a few of your French fries for each delivery. He already knows you are going to be refunding the order anyway. His favorite food is the Dashburger, especially when he gets the first bite.

In his spare time, John cooks a lot. He used to be the chef at a place called, I shit you not, Bugman Cafe. Unfortunately, the plandemic killed that job for him. But he made out fine in the long run, having escaped to America. John can take any dish you give him and enhance it with sauce packets from McDonalds.

Sometimes orders get messed up. This is where Gregory comes in. He is the king of quality control - and by that we mean that if we tell him to he will personally drive an order to you when the shipping gets fucked up. Seriously. He went cross-country for a single hat one time. We don't know if he has a family or anything. But he seems pretty happy with his role at Clout Engine so we must be doing some sort of good.

Gregory can recite Pi to about 100 digits. He also has an encyclopedic knowledge of US politics and history. He is a stock market wiz and could have been a big deal on Wall Street if he wasn't an urchin troglodyte.

Brian is half Jewish, half Puerto Rican, and 100% Brooklyn. His claim to fame is breaking skateboards. Imagine being a skater for 20 years and still sucking at it?

Brian is responsible for some of our edgier designs because he loves to shitpost IRL. He has been arrested for indecent exposure and open container

Tinique is a gifted artist and arguably the least unhinged person on our team. She is responsible for a lot of Clout Engine's products including some of the best sellers in the Chads and Stacys of History line. She drew inspiration from some of her own favorite historical figures for the artwork.

She works in a variety of media and brings a bit of fashion design expertise to the table, having designed shirts and shoes for customers in her own business. She consults for Clout Engine sometimes when Ramon begs her hard enough.

Tinique is a volleyball player an avid anime fan in her spare time. She brings a much needed positive and optimistic vibe to a room full of doomers.

We met Ed at a bar randomly in Harrisburg, PA and he thought we were funny so we stayed in touch. He is a xoomer boomer who likes to go fishing and slam the brewskis whilst complaining about the president.

Since he's the only one with a normie tier white collar job, he was able to lend his expertise in computers and finance to help us make this company profitable in its early stages. He makes the boring charts and tells us to stop wasting money and sometimes we listen.

We're convinced he's John Goodman's long lost brother.

Sad Kralk.

Paulsack is responsible for some of our favorite designs, including our Hollow Life series. He is our go-to guy for information about fine tobaccos for our office parties. This dude gave up pipe smoking and cigar smoking for the most part to watch his favorite VTubers. Thinks Andrew x Ashley and Aether x Lumine are cute ships. If you know, you know.

Vagel is a friend of ours who was there from the beginning when we were just learning how to make products by playing around in the editor to make personalized items for our peoples. He is an aspiring author and gentleman lifter. Sometimes he grows a funny old-timey oiled moustache which looks really funny when he lifts.

Since then, he has taken on the roll of team drill instructor. He stands over us and yells so that we can improve in the gym... which is just a bunch of crap we have lying around the office.

Vagel has a passion for urban planning and is a big proponent of walkable cities and viable public transit. He calls us carbrains because we are addicted to car-centric infrastructure.

Due to circumstances that we care not to explain, our friend Rusty is living under an assumed alias. He is an ecommerce expert but he has to do everything from his home office in his basement. From there, he has contributed to our design and marketing efforts. He is also the owner of a custom one-of-a-kind Clout Engine item that you will never see. When he isn't grinding his online hustles, Rusty enjoys running on his treadmill, which he prefers to running outside because he hates joggers. Despite his situation, he has a zest for life

Jane keeps us all in line. Without her, this ramshackle little organization would be even more chaotic. Her main thing is modeling, not so much e-commerce so she needs us but we also need her. She's a little bit ashamed to be associated with this brand. We can't blame her.

Her most notable exploit was getting banned from the hospital.